I’ve been thinking a lot about how different species survive, and more specifically, about what tools they need to survive. It’s true that humans aren’t the only animals that leverage tools, but there does seem to be something unique in our usage. Elephants, crows, and sea otters all use tools, ones they gather or make from their immediate environment. As far as I can tell, only individual humans use tools they themselves can’t make. …
A running bit I had during my time in Portland, Oregon was that I lived ‘three bubbles in’: 1. The United States, a first-world country, 2: Portland, a progressive city, and 3: My cohousing community, a progressive housing structure. I lived in this multilayered cushion for seven years, and many, many days I’d step outside and be flush with gratitude, not quite believing I was so fortunate to live there. …
I’ve built at least a hundred wood stove fires in my life, but last night the gift of heat was elusive for some reason. It took me three tries and a minor hand injury to produce a result, and there was swearing involved. In some way, this single event neatly captures a basic emotional cycle I’ve been through dozen of times as I navigate my way through projects I’ve never attempted before: frustration, overwhelm, and swearing, followed eventually with satisfaction and increased capacity through persistence. …
The American Psychological Association defines “fear of success” as: “a fear of accomplishing one’s goals or succeeding in society, or a tendency to avoid doing so”. For the longest time, the whole concept didn’t resonate with me. Fear of failure always made sense, but fear of success – why? And yet, the deeper I march through the layers of my personal development journey, the less and less a fear of failure grips me, and the more it seems like a fear of becoming fully expressed has always underpinned my behavior and results. I really began to understand how this fear...…
October of 2002 was the closest I ever came to suicide. After suffering many months of intense depression, anxiety, and lack of sleep, I had started on the planning phase. How do I execute it? Who should I leave my car to? There was no major external event that spun me into such a bad place. It can be hard to explain this kind of state to someone who’s never experienced it – attitude adjustments, perspective shifts, vacations to pretty places – none of these make a dent in the interior blackness. My body became a shell shuffling slowly, my...…